sheepoverboard.com

This is Australia - our thinking herd-like, our paddocks sparse. We have a comic blend of plethoric Press and nothing happening.

Australia figures low in the world’s sheep breeding (for originality) but at its peak boasted one sixth the world’s sheep population and 28% of world wool production.

The broad, parched fields of this ancient continent bore Ovine insights from generations of woolly thinkers, ruminating at length on affairs internal and international. Tyranny of distance bred expansive intellect.

This very evening (15-Mar’04) the second lead in metro news was a man’s cruelty to dogs. He was actually too kind, taking unwanted pooches, himself admitted sick to hospital, dogs unattended, the story 9 months old. The vociferous Press smeared this unfortunate, sick, old man’s character with their arrogant, sneering superiority - achieving similar results, no doubt, with toilet paper later that night. How cheap can a headline be?

Ruminating on the throne myself recently, the parallel struck me of ironic inverse similarities between two smaller-than-life stories our tabloid assassins set upon (as savage dogs on an undefended old man - though in this case, perhaps, as dogs with a bone - old, well-chewed, stinks, one buries, another digs it up…) over a period of many months, to the severe exclusion of actual news - the daily grind of repetitive headlines driving the most ardent newsophiles to Survivor, Brother or Idol for relief.

Story one

Boatload of unfortunate Arab refugees sprung a leak near Western Australia and the Australian Government proclaimed the soon-to-be-wet passengers threw their children overboard - despite photos showing no board to be thrown over and Navy observers, with cameras, denying this. [See photos on this ink - truthoverboard.com, a rather cranky website with NO affiliation to SheepOverboard.com, coincidentally named]

Story two

Boatload of equally unfortunate sheep conversely steaming to Arabia on the M.V. Corma Express. Almost as God is Just they were denied access - bugger the signed contract. [Background story - Sydney Morning Herald]

When our incisive, gallant press realised their mistake on the first item (which they chose not to before derailing a Federal election) their overreaction had the population excruciated with tears of nausea before letting the story fade.

Equally uninspiring, the Press’ chronic obsession with the second item. Despite reaching comic apogee, the beatup on those beaten sheep went on and on and on ….

Sheep are notorious for gnawing grass to the roots, destroying their food source and despoiling their personal eco-space. Hmm, did our ink slingers’ ancestors somehow acquire this gene …?