Building Collapses on Time 

Architects jubilant at successful "planned self-demolition" of eight-story condominium

MANILA - The SAI building, located at the corner of Padre Rada and Jose Abad Santos Streets in Divisoria, Maynila, Philippines, collapsed as scheduled some six hours after it started to tilt and occupants felt tremors inside the condominium.

Proud designers Gonzalis Architects & Associates said the building collapse was "within parameters" of the planned five-year deconstruction specified in the tender, allowing the firm to collect final contract fees.

Delighted designers captured historic "scheduled" self-demolition of SAI building in Manila. Neighbors not so happy.

Residents and tenants (comprising immigrant volunteers) of the eight-story condominium were relocated in accordance with lease conditions before the planned collapse late Friday afternoon in Tondo, Manila.

No casualties were reported as the 200 occupants moved out before noon, although Manila City Administrator Dino Nable sustained minor injuries in the right knee during ensuing celebrations.

The five-year-old building, owned by Hajit Manzokhoni, initially tilted first on the side of Padre Rada Street around 10 a.m. when occupants felt the building’s concrete walls cracking.

An adjacent building was also damaged when the SAI condominium collapsed, exhibiting "more than specified" lateral trajectory. The residents of nearby buildings were evacuated to prevent any accident.

'Groundbreaking' Technology

Designers G.A. Associates CEO Constanzio Gonzalis said his firm had been testing the new technology for 15 years. During this time a series of collapses received bad press but the real problem was the scheduled demolitions occurred too early, making it appear as structural failure.

"In this case the SAI condo fell barely one month after the anticipated date", Gonzalis beamed.

"We have just about perfected the technique, based on proprietary aging factors carefully integrated in computer-designed footings.

"Obviously some minor inconsistencies in bacterial vigor threw our timing slightly, resulting in "horizontal trajectory" with minor damage and inconvenience to neighbors." Gonzalis said, apparently irritated by criticizm from neighboring tenants.

Explosive demolition woes

An expert consultant told SheepOverboard he believed a carefully-guarded secret process employed concrete-eating bacteria genetically engineered for the purpose.

"It's way ahead of anything we have in the States or Europe, which is why so many of our buildings fail to collapse on time, requiring high-cost teams of explosive specialists - not to mention the high-risk of such demolition strategies.

"Why, the initial explosive measures, to induce what is actually a building implosion, throw a chaotic element into the equation.

"We all saw what happened in Canberra a few years ago, rocks raining down all over the Australian Capitol, and a young girl's tragic death.

He also pointed out the huge costs incurred by legalities and thrown reconstruction schedules by intransigent buildings having to be blown when they didn't collapse on time.

City Rejoices

Manila Mayor Lito Atienza said that it is still too early to congratulate anybody for the collapse of the building.

Atienza directed the city permit and city engineering offices to investigate the incident, and confirm the cause of the building’s collapse was due to Pinoy ingenuity.

"The Guiness World Records folk have been calling me every few hours for confirmation. They wanted to know why we didn't alert them so they could witness and document this landmark event.

"I told them our Nation was proud of its track record in this field, and now that the technology was nearly perfected they could expect to witness many such events in the near future.

“It is still too early to put the credit on anyone,” Atienza said, adding that, “a full investigation on the incident is of utmost importance at the moment, but I think the Gonzalis Architects have every reason to be breaking out the Champagne” Atienza chuckled.

Atienza said no one will be overlooked and even city officials will be invited to celebrations if it can be shown they facilitated the destruction of the condominium.