Sheep latest victims in deadly game of genetic dice
Special report by SheepOverboard ovine roundsman Ewen Shearer
In an ironic twist of cross-species interaction, having eluded SARS by immunity acquired from close contact with New Zealand graziers, sheep have succumbed to Chicken Flu
Australian sheep seem poised, however, to maintain breeding dominance with the surprise discovery of “unpredicted collateral benefits” in ovines surviving Avian influenza (also known as bird flu or avian flu).
Larger transgenic gallus-ovine at right (fleece ‘feathering’ not visible with image resolution), and Dr. Norm Adams’ normal-sized GM control at left.
Despite catastrophic threat to Australia’s wool production (traditionally called the “wool clip” due to exorbitant prices) herd destruction is on hold pending breaking research into this bizarre outcome from the hybrid cross-dressing chicken flue virus.
Naturally-resistant sheep exhibiting aves characteristics have the attention of scientists at Mediterranean Livestock Systems Program in CSIRO Livestock Industries.
They are investigating if avian DNA fragments have naturally spliced into flu-resistant sheep, with offspring lambs presenting “proto-avian” features.
SheepOverboard spoke to CELS staff laboratory researcher Dr. Jean Donas. Asked to speculate if Chicken Flu virus might literally ‘mutate’ survivors, Dr. Donas proffered:
Retroviral integrase prepares viral DNA for integration by removing 2 nucleotides from each end of unintegrated DNA in a reaction referred to as processing. However, as avian integrases frequently nick 3 nucleotides, as well as 2 nucleotides, from viral DNA ends when reaction mixtures contain Mn2+, specificity for the biologically relevant “-2″ site is enhanced when the serine at amino acid 124 of Rous sarcoma virus (RSV) integrase is replaced by alanine, valine, glycine, lysine, or aspartate.
Thus, the S124D protein has separated the processing and joining activities of integrase. Similar results were found for human immunodeficiency virus integrase with the analogous substitution. Moreover, RSV virions containing integrase with the S124D mutation were unable to replicate in cell cultures. Together, these data suggest that integrase has evolved to have submaximal processing activity so that it can also catalyze DNA joining.
At least, that’s how I see it, but admit some difficulty explaining it to journalists” she added.
Early findings suggest sufficient numbers of resistant sheep might provide “new breeding stock” with an “advantageous outcome.” These progeny would, however, be considered genetically modified and subject to laws and regulations controlling new biotechnologies - whereby global corporations were free to contaminate natural genotypes by poorly controlled trials in recalcitrant farming communities, then chemically treat the “agri-environs” to destroy all but patented strains.
The Australian Minister for Agriculture, Wasnt Trussed, said intelligent, well-dressed lobbyists had urged him to allow infected sheep a “stay of execution” and told reporters it was a little far-fetched to draw parallels with the first Alien movie.
Beneficial spin offs have been documented by preliminary CSIRO research and include such unexpected bonuses as a more marketable flesh taste and an exquisite ‘feathering’ of Merino fleece with a yarn resembling silky rayon.
Australian CSIRO studies corroborate graziers’ observations of uncharacteristic intelligent behavior in survivor flocks, confirmed by researcher Caroline Lee, PhD., who added “Smarter sheep are more able to deal with the system.”
These positive mitigations impact market deprecations, whereby Asians can find mutton’s strong characteristic flavor unpalatable, and woollen garments’ reputation for being heavy and causing itch”
Agriculture Minister Trussed added, pleading caution:
“I can’t verify claims by live sheep exporters that transgenic surviving sheep are by nature Muslim, based merely on observed group orientation at certain times of day.
We have a great opportunity here to rejuvenate our world-fleecing industry,” the Minister bleated proudly.
Farmers are experiencing minor inconveniences with surviving ovines on infected sheep stations, as SheepOverboard discovered when we spoke to a leading fine wool poll Merino breeder at Cumnock, NSW, who was happy to allow us to use this transcription but wished to remain anonymous as he feared the Peta death squads.
Gidaaay Moight. Yeer, mioght, bluddy lambs - them whort servoived, that is - are flappin all over thaa playce excitin thaa dawgs wicha startin ta eatem. Never ayte sheeep b’faw, least nevva killed em an aytem”
The grazier sighed, grimaced a little while adjusting his tackle, spat noisily into the dust, picked a fresh stalk of paspalum straw to chew on (and offered veiled threats to this reporter if he included such detail. As you can see, SheepOverboard staff are both incorruptible and more than a little incorrigible).
Narther thing, ennat. Bloody sheep are jumpin hoigher when we troi ta gittem up the rams, ..er ramps. Need taller bloody fences, too. Aneez friggin feathered fleecelets git up me noze.” He paused..appeared ready to sneeze, then continued .. “The dawgs recken they tayste less loike goat an moor loike chikkin, burt wot wood thaa bluddy dawgs know?”
The sheep dogs, ears cocked, now formed a close attentive circle around us.
Narther darn thing ennat, if me ovines cop it enny arda in thaa neck, that Peta mob’ll avta go hop on one leg ter buggery. They’ll avta mules’em bluddy selves ta foind sumthin ta bluddy-well winge abowt!”
The dogs broke into a choking rattle resembling (I strongly suspect) canine laughter, and rolled about as if in mirth. The grazier and I stared curiously at them till they regained composure and one by one returned our gaze, their pink blood-stained tongues slapped about, dripping saliva coolant in the dry fly-ridden heat, toothy-jawed grins allied to twinkling knowing eyes.
Trying to hijack the interview, like most Australian stud breeders and wool growers, he inevitably tried turning the discussion against New Zealand graziers and how hard it was to understand what the Kiwis were saying, etc., and “had I heard the one about the New Zealand sheep farmer and the … ?” This reporter decided it was time to leave.
Emotions are running high in Australia as the industry shudders from this latest blow that follows low world wool prices, record drought, decline in market preference for wool, and recent blood-letting from a Peta campaign against bloodied crutches.
Spokesfemme for the Dept. of Animal Science, University of New England, (dressed in fine-knitted twin-set, thigh-length Ugh boots, and sporting “Mules Peta Not Sheep” embroidered across a woollen beanie) confirmed worst fears about the avian onslaught.
Pressed for scientific detail she would only wax disdainful on “the tragedy” and, with bitterness teetering on partisan, bemoaned “the irony of sheep being infected so lethally by the only species considered dumber”.
Even before this, chooks had little to boast” she spat, and repeated the old daffodil “Chooks are a sublime blend of utter stupidity and naked ambition,” adding “At least sheep are NOT ambitious.”
The chicken industry is, reportedly, secretly delighted by the ovine mutation and see avian-ovines a perfect replacement for greatly loathed and despised chooks.
Just a little genetic fiddling and its goodbye Chicken Hilton! No more 24-hour reading lamps, air-conditioning, hormone-enhanced food, those incredible egos, knee-deep chicken shit, and that bloody awful racket and stench”
.. one plucky industry professional crowed.
Sheep just stand out in the rain and eat grass. I’ll be glad to see the end of those ambitious, feathered bastards!“
