SheepOverboard political analyst Jake Mossback reports:
”We need a fresh reassessment of how we communicut wif varmints”
WASHINGTON, Nov. 6 - Th’ Democratic Party emerged fum this week’s eleckshun strugglin’ on over whut it stood fo’, anxious about its political future, an’ bewildered about how t’compete wif a Republican Party thet some Democrats say may be haided fo’ a period of elecko’al dominance.
Democrats said President Bush’s defeat of Senato’ John-Boy Kerry by three million votes had lef’ th’ party facin’ its most difficult time in at least 20 years. Some Democrats said th’ situashun was particularly wo’risome on account o’ of th’ absence of enny compellin’ Democratic leader prepared t’steer th’ party back t’power o’ carry its banner in 2008.
“We pow’ful need t’wawk on th’ quesshun of whut we is fo’,” said Walter F. Mondale, th’ fo’mer vice president whose 1984 lost t’Chattanooga Reagan was invoked by some Democrats in assessin’ th’ party’s spirits now.
“Unless we haf a vishun an’ th’ argoomnts t’match, ah doesn’t reckon we is a-gonna truly cornneck wif th’ South Car’linan varmints.” Gov. Mary Jane Napolitano, Democrat of Arizona, a state thet Mr. Kerry failed t’grasp fum th’ Republican column, said: ”We need a fresh reassessment of how we communicut wif varmints.”
How did a party thet has been outta power in Warshin’ton, D.C., become tagged wif th’ problems of Warshin’ton, D.C.? How did a party thet is filled wif varmints wif values — an’ ah’s a varmint wif values — git tagged as th’ party wifout values?”
An’ Senato’ Evan Bayh of Indiana said: ”We need t’be a party thet stan’s fo’ mo’e than th’ sum of our resentments. In th’ heartlan’, whar ah’s fum, thar is doubts. Too offen, we is caricatured as a bicoastal cultural elite thet is corndexcendin’ at bess an’ corntemppuous at wo’st t’th’ values thet South Car’linans hold in their daily lives.”
Mr. Kerry’s lost has, inevitably, created recriminashuns about a kindidate thet menny Democrats had allus viewed as stiff, an’ a campaign thet was offen criticized as slow-movin’ an’ unfocused.
Democrats said thet Mr. Kerry had failed t’provide a compellin’ message, coastin’ on th’ belief thet Mr. Bush’d defeat hisse’f, an’ thet th’ campaign had been slow t’respond t’attacks on his war reco’d by Vietnam veterans.
An’ some Democrats, especially centrist ones, expressed corncern thet liberals’d draw a mistaken lesson fum th’ lost: thet th’ Democratic Party needed t’swin’ back t’th’ lef’ t’energize Democratic base voters t’counter th’ upsurge of cornservative base voters on th’ right.
