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Bondi Origins   Jun 8 2007

Filed under Australiana by Ewen Shearer

The people from whom this wide brown land was stolen two centuries ago were rather fond of a coastal retreat they called Boondi, the "noise of water tumbling over rocks" (or "a place where a fight with nullas took place").

Whitey, with a penchant for mangling vowels, would quickly render it as ‘Bondi,’ for at the time many assumed a Scotsman had supplied the original translation.

To 19th-century Sydney dwellers Bondi was a wasteland of scrub, sand hills and lagoons. Oddly, their descendents were to spend considerable income and effort driving SUVs hundreds of miles to such places – they would later term "pristine wilderness."

That cigar ..

Completed in 1890, Bondi’s ocean sewerage outfall was built to divert human waste from Sydney harbor.

Henceforth this growing city’s effluent floated patiently off Bondi’s coast until in 1902 a man named W.H. Gocher deliberately violated an 1833 law prohibiting bathing between 6am and 8pm and released pent-up social momentum to overturn such irrelevant laws. A plethora of fledgling bathers flocked to Sydney’s now famous surfing venue only to be introduced – intimately – to their own excreta.

For seventy years Bondiites and Sydneyites believed a murky green ocean populated by interestingly-shaped and strangely familiar floating objects, foul odors, and virulent post-immersion infections, were natural features of the Pacific Ocean’s salty-frothed experience.

Upon identification the unspeakable ‘objects’ rapidly succumbed to euphemism, the more mischievous of which were "blind mullet," "brown-eyed mullet" and the delightful and immortal "Bondi Cigar."

Succintly, "a turd in the sea."

Bondi is ..

Partisan locals:

Famous suburb surrounding an iconic golden strip of sand fourteen kilometers east of Sydney, Australia’s largest and most vibrant international city. Home to a melting pot of artists, young professionals, global transients and of course the surfing community.

Australian Tourist Board (not!):

Home of the infamous Bondi cigar. Full of rich wankers, musicians, yobbos on the weekend, backpackers every other day. Not a very nice place to swim, but great on the beach. Look out for syringes, white pointers, and, oh yes, those soggy cigars.
[Slight thanks to the Urban Dictionary]




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Ink Irresistable

Not the NYT Montaigne's what would I know? Huxley's almost anything about almost everything. Or Bierce and nothing matters. Codifying life's inimitable impromptu inclines irrestistably to essay.

Civilization ..

   defiles itself


Times past when warlords, priests and royalty hoarded luxury, life was a short grim struggle. Today most want for little yet still deny dignified survival to working poor, and ravage entire countries as collateral to our laissez faire fiesta.
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A Century of Imperialism

     ..hasn't dulled the urge

American foreign policy never a pretty sight, finesse of the mobile crane chase from Terminator 3. Export democracy? Cure worse than disease. double arrow Read more ..

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And what's going on in Land of the Free, Home of the Brave? As 40% of kids fail graduation the Iraqistan wars suck $2.4 trillion [CBO 2017 est]. Imagine this staggering sum applied to rebuilding The Great Society. Think of others.
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This lazy unemployed

..crack-smoking welfare queen ran up U$15 trillion debt

lazy homeless scum
Odd how the ultra-wealthy gull even working poor to blame unemployed, disabled, weak, and vulnerable while but for the grace of God go all.

If he's a welfare leech then your soul is with the sociopaths and predators who own Warshington and its minions, the Repugnicans and Dumfocrats, gutting a once noble nation that aspired to equality.

This elite will survive the US economic train wreck, land softly on 300 million plundered taxpayers, then from fortresses of luxury and privilege prey elsewhere for spoils.

The dawn of civilization was greatly exaggerated.

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Painters, such a sad old bunch
None it seems more so than Munch
Upon that bridge with skies afire
A meme took flight to never tire.
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