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Tweets from the Camel Toe   Sep 30 2017

Filed under Chicanery, feature by Ewen Shearer

Not since Clampett’s tribe pitched camp by an up-market cement pond has this great nation of exceptionalism so derisively mocked, to mask a swelling pride.

As strongmen go, the vulgarian whose Olds 37 so rarely oilstains the Pennsylvania Avenue driveway is “par for the course.”

As criminal egos rate, his – lustrated by steadfast faith in a talent for the deal – shines pure as the gold plate adorning his chattels.

And in that august House where self-importance drips from ceilings, hubris clogs urinals, and egos clutter hallways like autumn leaves, a new vanity benchmark is set.

So, why is our 45th president so beloved of Americans?

A Tourette-tweeting self-made bankrupt with a penchant for camel toe, how could he not connect with the average exceptionalist Joe?

We poor, downtrodden, lowly underachievers have sorry lives to bear. But a sparkling opportunity exhilarates us: to both laud and denigrate our Commander in Thief.

Of bread and circuses, a high-carb crust needs a generous spread of prancing horses, sawdust… and clowns.

It pains, but must be said: the gravitas and statesmanlike pronouncements of the previous incumbent bored us to distraction. Eight years of serious presiding were 7 too many.

But at last – well, once again – we have a White House giant of farce in play. A consummate professional, media skills honed in a dismal reality show and social skills sharpened on hapless tenants.

What better proof of his nature than a love for that universally derided “barbarous relic” that gilds his palaces and antechambers? A contrarian indeed.

His most redeeming quality, appreciated by supporters and opponents alike, is choosing to run the nation’s affairs from a swank seaside schloss poised delicately in the local flight path. When has the secret service ensemble more often enjoyed 18 holes at a resort whilst securing the entire Florida seaboard?

If millennia of warlords have taught us non-alphas a lesson, it’s to revere the hallmark of a great despot.

Foremost – as renowned psychologists have shown, one upon the other (figuratively) – is a tyrant’s bemused gratification in the face of humiliating irony.

Indeed, this correspondent’s most savored instance was LWT’s Aspel interview of Margaret Thatcher, whose declaration “I’m always on the job” and sent an audience of cheeky Londoners into mirthful frenzy. The Iron Lady bore her proud smile with an air of perplexity.

Similarly, when our great man signs momentous epistles he haughtily flourishes the endorsement at cameras, with set of jaw and purse of lips that confirm he is not quite sure what is going on but it’s a grand occasion and he is the cause of it.

This simple humble act wins untold American hearts.

The republic and its eclectic citizenry keenly anticipate 7 more years of scintillating politics and crowning national achievement and it would disappoint us all to spend those aeons without a generous barrage of tweeted insults.

Internationally the new president is a fabulous hit.

He has energised the world stage in way not seen since Il Duce and a uniform not pending is a missed opportunity. His appearance at the United Nations excited that forum like Al Capone hosting the Nobel Prize.

He is a man of our age whose coming has transformed this nation, propelling it emblematic of freedom, equality, and opportunity.

It is the natural order that the most aggressive, militarized, evangelical nation on Earth is led by one who exhausts Roget’s synonyms for philistine.

Our nation is united in patriotic rapture.

And the giggles.

[Image: Trump Justice by Angel Boligan, El Universal, Mexico City, www.caglecartoons.com]



Down Under


Australiana


Ink Irresistable

Not the NYT Montaigne's what would I know? Huxley's almost anything about almost everything. Or Bierce and nothing matters. Codifying life's inimitable impromptu inclines irrestistably to essay.

Civilization ..

   defiles itself


Times past when warlords, priests and royalty hoarded luxury, life was a short grim struggle. Today most want for little yet still deny dignified survival to working poor, and ravage entire countries as collateral to our laissez faire fiesta.
double arrowOn not shedding a tear ..

A Century of Imperialism

     ..hasn't dulled the urge

American foreign policy never a pretty sight, finesse of the mobile crane chase from Terminator 3. Export democracy? Cure worse than disease. double arrow Read more ..

Charity

~ its own reward

And what's going on in Land of the Free, Home of the Brave? As 40% of kids fail graduation the Iraqistan wars suck $2.4 trillion [CBO 2017 est]. Imagine this staggering sum applied to rebuilding The Great Society. Think of others.
double arrow Where Charity Begins

This lazy unemployed

..crack-smoking welfare queen ran up U$15 trillion debt

lazy homeless scum
Odd how the ultra-wealthy gull even working poor to blame unemployed, disabled, weak, and vulnerable while but for the grace of God go all.

If he's a welfare leech then your soul is with the sociopaths and predators who own Warshington and its minions, the Repugnicans and Dumfocrats, gutting a once noble nation that aspired to equality.

This elite will survive the US economic train wreck, land softly on 300 million plundered taxpayers, then from fortresses of luxury and privilege prey elsewhere for spoils.

The dawn of civilization was greatly exaggerated.

Munch Montage


Painters, such a sad old bunch
None it seems more so than Munch
Upon that bridge with skies afire
A meme took flight to never tire.
2arrow gif

Quote Me

"I am an obsessive rewriter, doing one draft and then another and another. In a way I have nothing to say but a great deal to add
~ Gore Vidal

"Rulers of state are the only ones who should have the privilege of lying" (Well, that explains the last 2500 years)
~ Plato

"By 'known unknowns' I was referring to the universe's dark matter.."
~ Donald Rumsfeld

"I have neither time nor inclination to communicate the fullness of my heart in speech, I am resolved to do it in writing, and to print myself out.."
~ Joseph Addison